Sooooo, you want to plan it yourself, eh? Don't worry - you can do it! First, think about the type of wedding you want - formal or informal, big or small and the time of year you want it to take place.   I like to determine when to have a wedding by what your favorite season is and then go from there.  Choose your location based on that seasons weather.  Imagine a cozy lodge for a winter wedding or perhaps a horticultural center for the spring.  A beachy resort in the summer and an apple orchard in the fall.  The possibilities are endless.    Set a realistic budget.  If your parents are giving you some cash make sure you have an honest discussion about what the amount will be or what they may like to contribute to.   Always divide that total amount in half and allocate 50% for the food and beverage.  Always include the service/administration fee and state taxes into that budget.  This can be as high as 30% on top of the meal costs.  The other 50% will be allocated to the additional services you require.  Make sure you have some considerable cash on hand in order to distribute deposits.  Some facilities will require at least $2000 for a deposit.    Hire a professional Wedding Day Management coordinator.  The Rare Affair can assist you with tying it all together at the end.  This is especially important if you are booking a funtion hall or having your reception in your back yard.   Compile guest lists and organize addresses and contact numbers.  This will be the best way to find the perfect venue based on current numbers.  You have to assume everyone will come - even if they don't. Estimate your wedding date.  Your dream location may not be available on the date you first choose so always be flexible to get the space you love!    Reserve ceremony and reception sites.  When you find it - BOOK IT!  All seasons are prime these days so make sure your date is yours as soon as possible!  Keep in mind when booking a ceremony location that it will fit your current attendance count.  Some beautiful, historic churches might have fire codes that will only allow a certain number of guests even if their seating would allow more.  Always ask what the max attendance is. Choose your Officiate.  If you are looking for a JP - try to find one in the town/city you are getting married in.  This saves on travel fees that are typically tacked onto the JP fee.  For a church setting and you are not a member of a church, find one that is close to your reception location.  A longer commute to the reception could bite into your cocktail hour and risk of guests getting lost is greater.  You could start your ceremony earlier to accomodate for travel to your reception but be sure the venue will allow early arrivals and accomodate them instead of waiting in the parking lot. Book your caterer if your reception location does not provide it.  Schedule a tasting with several before booking.  You may be charged a small fee - which might be deducted if booked - but it will be worth it to pay now than on your wedding day.  Friends and family will recommend a catering company they know but, everyone has different tastes - so always have a tasting regardless of their popularity.      Order your wedding cake - YUM tasting time!  Please note:  if you are selecting a package plan with the reception location and the cake is included  - watch out for "upcharges".  If you have fabulous designs or exotic flavors in mind they may not be included in the package price.  Ask for the options that are within the package - they may surprise you.  What you thought would be the best cost/time saver might end up really costing you with all of the upcharges you've had to make.   Book a reputable florist or designer.  There is a huge difference between the two and not just with costs.  Make sure they are flexible enough to stick with your budget and to use flowers of that season instead of shipping them in - this will will be a cost savings!  Same thing here with packages:  you may get a bubble bowl with a dozen (or less) of roses and baby's breath.  Not exactly what you had in mind?  Make sure you ask what you will receive.  Anything over the bubble bowl - will be upcharged.   Book music for the ceremony and reception.  Bands are higher priced depending on the number of band mates and a DJ would have the real music but can sometimes be a bit cheesy.  There are pro's and cons to each.  Also, there may be an additional fee for bringing in extra equipment to supply your ceremony music if you are holding it at the same location as the reception.  The new big thing is an iPOD DJ - there is a considerable cost savings for this option but you would need extra speakers and an equilizer.  Check with the AV rental companies to see what is needed to do this properly.  You will also need a capable person familiar with the equipment to cue up the music.     Book your photographer and videographer.  Make sure you like their personality as much as their photo style!  They will be with you allllllll day!  Make sure you ask for references and check out that clients own personal copy if possible.  The vendor will always have the best looking, edited version - think Big Mac - they always look good on TV.     Plan and book the honeymoon.  Make sure you budget in the spending $$$.  Don't count on the "envelopes" from the reception as there may be a lot of checks - which need to be deposited and cleared.  You don't have the time.   Also, be sure to order your passports well in advance if you do not already have one.  Don't worry about your last name being different immediately after your wedding.  Yes, you are married but the paperwork has not changed at the city yet so you are in good shape.  Plus, your license will still be in your maiden name.  Once you are official with the city, you can submit name change documents.   Send save-the-date cards, if using.  Try not to send them during a holiday season where people are receiving lots of cards (Christmas, Easter, Etc.) or have not yet purchased the new years calendar.  They may get lost in the shuffle.  If you must send them during that season - use a save the date magnet. Choose attendants wisely!  I suggest that you do not ask based on what they can do for you the day of the wedding.  Most will not lift a finger and do not expect to be your errand assistant.  They want to have fun and be pampered just as you do - afterall it is a position of honor.  And, it is not a popularity contest, you do not need to ask every female person you know to be an attendant.  Order your gown and accessories, including veil and shoes.  Make sure you consider where you will be walking - grass, pavers and brick love those skinny spiked heels!   Reserve rental equipment, such as tables, chairs, and tents.  See what comes with your "package" from the reception location and build from there.  If you want more color for your reception and the facility only provides white or ivory linens, try to rent an overlay or table runner for the tables that will accompany the linen the reception facility is already providing.  Or, puse lots of color in your floral centerpieces.    Arrange transportation for the wedding day.  Keep in mind that an 8 passenger limo will comforably seat 6.  Give your fellow passengers some elbow room!  Believe it or not  - your gown will take up an entire seat even if you are wearing a figure hugging number.  This is also an issue when selecting a package from the reception facility.  If you need a larger limo than what they provide - there will be an upcharge.    Order stationery, including invitations and thank-you notes.  If you'd like to book a calligrapher have them "audition" by having them write several lines of a short sentence in the style you prefer.  The first line will differ from the last.  If it is consistent - and you like the style - get ready to book.  To save some money you could always print them with a special font from your home printer.  Make sure the ink is full and you have an extra cartidge on hand. Register for gifts.  Ordering items that you would not normally purchase for yourself is a great idea but be practical - will you use those items or store them away?  I have a set of 13 place settings - that I use 2x per year.  It looks nice, but I think I would have wanted some other essentials instead.  Make sure you include your shipping address for those out of state guests who prefer not to carry your gift on the plane!   Purchase wedding rings.  Allow some extra time for engraving! Schedule beauty services and make appointments for a trial run. Purchase or reserve groom's attire.   Choose attendants' attire.  Look at your gown search in a different way, determine what color would look great on them all and then select a style of dress that compliment their shape.  A large busted woman may want straps that will conceal a bra strap and a gal with a fuller belly area may prefer an A-line design.  You can mix and match designers too!  Choose readings for ceremony and ask readers to read them.  Don't be offended if they decline - stage fright can be crippling!     Write your wedding vows, if you choose.  Please don't get too personal OK snookum bunny.   Buy your guest book or speak with your photographer about creating a signing matte with your engagement photo.  These can make a great keepsake.  Try finding a record album of your wedding song.  Guests can sign it with a metallic pen.   Have your programs created and printed.   If your state requires blood tests, make appointments and have them done.   Obtain a marriage license at the City or Town Clerks office, and request several certified copies when you pick it up.  You will need them later for insurance, legal documents and Social Security.  Keep track of your RSVP's.  Creat a spreadsheet on your computer and keep accurate numbers and what they have chosen for their meal.  Begin a seating plan and print place cards.  Confer with family where they'd like to sit.  Some like a quiet corner away from the DJ speakers - especially the older crowd.    Write toasts for rehearsal dinner and wedding reception.  You will go blank.   Complete announcements for newspaper.   Break in wedding shoes at home - often!  I liked to wear mine while getting ready for work and while cooking dinner - be careful of course!   Designate someone to look after your home while you are on your honeymoon.  Put a hold on the mail and newspaper deliveries.   If you have pet's, find them a place to go while you are away.  Some kennels will require "kennel-cough" vaccinations before they arrive at the kennel so give some time to fit in that appointment with the vet. Find out where your guests will be staying, if you plan to deliver welcome notes or gifts to their rooms.  Some Hotels will charge a nominal fee so keep that in mind as well.   Give announcements to an attendant for mailing after the wedding.   Have manicure and pedicure the day before.   Rehearse ceremony.  If it doesn't work the way you have imagined it - try, try again.   Hold your rehearsal dinner and expect to give gifts to wedding party. If you choose, give gifts to parents to thank them for their support.  Also, it is a very nice gesture to invite out of town guests to attend this dinner.  They do not have to attend the rehearsal itself but the dinner is a seperate entity.  You will be able to visit with them much more casually at this time than on your hectic wedding day.   Prepare tip and payment envelopes for officiant and vendors.  Make arrangements for someone trustworthy to distribute them. Write thank-you notes as gifts arrive.  Arrange for someone to deliver your gift to your home or have them kept at a friends while you are away.    If you intend to change your name, prepare the necessary documents.  You will need a name change form from the Social Security Department as well as Department of Motor vehicles for your drivers license.  Also, complete health insurance change forms and complete any life insurance forms.  Don't forget to change the beneficiaries for any retirement accounts you each may have.  When you get back from your honeymoon, you need make all of these changes with your marriage certificate so be sure to have many certified copies made.   Send change-of-address information to post office if you are changing your address.     Contact local newspapers about publishing wedding announcement.   Finalize seating plan with any changes or additional late RSVP's.   Assign specific responsibilities, such as handing out corsages and boutonnieres, to members of your wedding party (if your florist will not be doing this).   Pick up your dress or have it delivered.  Make sure you "let her out of the bag" to hang.  Obtain a fabric steamer and practice on a similar fabric as your gown or in an obscure location on your gown.  You don't want any mishaps on your day.  Make sure you bring it with you to where you will be dressing press out any unforseen wrinkles. Confirm details with all vendors and give the final count to your caterer.  Confirm honeymoon arrangements and give your itinerary to a friend or family member in case of emergency.  Include a photocopy of your passports and any credit card information - just in case.  If you lose your credit card on vacation you will need the contact numbers to call the company and cancel them immediately.  Have them re-issue them and send them overnight if you need them while traveling.  This includes your ATM cards even if they dont have the Visa/Mastercard logo. Pack for your honeymoon.  Ahem, keep toys out - they are looking in your bags at the airport these days.   There is so much more to do but I think you have a great head start!  Even so, if you don't want to or don't have the time to do all of this - give us a call we'll do it all for you!  Click "contact us", it's the first step to your own Rare Affair!